And other unfortunate complications

Thirst is a funny thing.

I’m not sure everyone feels it the same way. I mean, sure the symptoms are alike — burning throat, anxiety, discomfort, helplessness. Maybe fear? I don’t know.

I just think that thirst is something that some people get used to.

Like, have you ever gotten a glass of water and chugged it, surprising yourself with the depth and severity of your own thirst, then thought woah! I didn’t know I needed that.

How on earth did I let myself get so thirsty?

Point being, I definitely don’t drink enough water. I wonder if anyone does, without thinking about it? When I do remember to drink “enough water” — by the way 8 glasses a day seems very arbitrary, it can’t be the same for everyone! It definitely doesn’t take climate, pollution, or physical activity into account.

What I’m trying to say is that I hate that feeling. The feeling of having chugged all that water and wondering how I could have let myself get that thirsty.

It feels like I’m letting myself down.

And the rules for what's “right” are confusing, and incomplete. Yet I’m so willing to academize my thirst first, because I’m afraid that I don’t know what I need.

I wonder where I learned this so that I can unlearn it.

I wish, instead of being mad at my body for having gotten so thirsty, that I could let myself appreciate the drink. Because that drink of water when you really need it is delicious. It feels good.

I wanna let myself feel good.

I wanna feel grateful that I gave myself what I needed and trust that I’ll know when I need more. That I know my body and am qualified above all others to give it what it needs.

If I had that trust, well, I think I’d drink more water. | Freelance Editor | Essayist | Culture Analyst | Pronouns: she/they

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