Niceness is about maintaining the status quo. Kindness is revolutionary.
At the beginning of the pandemic, Gal Gadot produced a video featuring an array of celebrities singing John Lennon’s “Imagine.” It was supposed to be a declaration that we’re all suffering through this crisis together. But it didn’t exactly come off that way. As viewers watched the stars croon lyrics like “imagine no possessions” from their isolated mega-villas, those of us in the real world were losing our jobs, health insurance, homes, and loved ones. Many viewers described the video as “out of touch” and “cringe-worthy.”
Gadot insists she was just trying to do something nice! In a recent Vanity Fair cover story, she explained of the video, “Sometimes, you know, you try and do a good deed and it’s just not the right good deed. I had nothing but good intentions and it came from the best place, and I just wanted to send light and love to the world.” …
This Is Us
Light-skinned and part of the problem
When I was in my senior year of high school I argued against affirmative action. My AP history class had taken a field trip to Selma and we’d spent the day wandering around, drinking in the history of the small city. I was one of two Black students in a class of 30. Ashley and I were bound at the hip until we went our separate ways in college. I wonder how she felt at that moment. …
Biden is infinitely better than Trump, but he’s far from the progressive victory we’d hoped for.
When the 2020 presidential race was called for Biden there was dancing in the streets in New York City. In Astoria, drivers honked their horns to celebrate while little old ladies shimmied in their windows, banging tunelessly against pots and pans. It was a discordant display of joy, one that a few talented folk managed to twerk to.
I love me some patriotic twerking, but in the wake of a Biden-Harris victory I felt a bit odd about all the merry making. I felt like I was watching the celebration through a foggy window. Peeking in I could see the party-goers, hear the revelry, and bask a bit in the glow. …
Calories-in-calories-out is far from a perfect system.
Someone I follow online just posted a then-and-now picture of themselves celebrating that they had lost 20 pounds during quarantine. Hold for applause.
To her this was a radical transformation. One that left her with wisdom worth sharing. It was this presumed wisdom that stopped me in my tracks — or my scroll if we’re being literal.
The poster started by stating that she was uncomfortable sharing her photos — though she never elaborated on why, which might have been interesting. She spoke about the challenges of the pandemic and how she’d used this time to invest in herself. The poster then implored everyone reading her post to make one healthy choice a day. She said that change is a waterfall. …
Why it's not going anywhere if we just stop talking about it.
“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.”
This is the infamous statement that so many of us assumed would lose Donald Trump the presidency in 2016. This statement and others like it were used to assure us, the American people, that this cruel and unqualified man could never become our president.
So many of us turned away, from our TVs and the polls; acting as if there had never been criminals, sex offenders, and racists in the oval office. …
Express Yourself
You have nothing to prove. Sometimes, the best thing to do is walk away.
A couple of months ago I wrote an essay about my experience growing up as a light-skinned Black woman in the United States.
I wanted to speak honestly about internalized racism and how it has manifested throughout my life. My hope was that by turning a critical eye inward and engaging with my flawed journey — still flawed, by the way— I might be able to offer a road map for people working through similar issues.
It was a tough piece, and I received a wide variety of responses. Some were complimentary. One of the first was from a mother who said she was excited to share the essay with her teenage daughter. …
And other unfortunate complications
Thirst is a funny thing.
I’m not sure everyone feels it the same way. I mean, sure the symptoms are alike — burning throat, anxiety, discomfort, helplessness. Maybe fear? I don’t know.
I just think that thirst is something that some people get used to.
Like, have you ever gotten a glass of water and chugged it, surprising yourself with the depth and severity of your own thirst, then thought woah! I didn’t know I needed that.
How on earth did I let myself get so thirsty?
Point being, I definitely don’t drink enough water. I wonder if anyone does, without thinking about it? When I do remember to drink “enough water” — by the way 8 glasses a day seems very arbitrary, it can’t be the same for everyone! It definitely doesn’t take climate, pollution, or physical activity into account. …
How the patriarchy impedes a woman’s right to be heard
I was determined to start this year on solid footing. As a freelancer going back to school it was important for me to stay on top of my schedule. So, I chose my classes and ensured my aid package well before the semester began. Then, at the last minute, all my funding was placed on hold. This was due to a new policy at New York University that required an additional loan literacy test; which, try as I may, I was unable to access through the link provided to me.
The solution seemed simple, I would call the office, explain, and be sent a functional link. Unfortunately, getting this new link proved more difficult than I’d imagined. …
What if we treated each other as divine beings?
How do we move forward?
That is the issue at hand in the majority of sociological study. Our hope is that, through analysis of the structure of our society, we might find a way to live more equitably in the future. Durkheim — the father of modern sociology — saw that, although society is resistant to change, change is nonetheless inevitable.
Durkheim sat in the midst of a constantly shifting society, and noted how those changes were met with a redefining of the meaning attributed to existing sociological institutions. As industrialism and capitalism flourished, the cult of individualism rose; and the importance of religion shifted in western society. What Durkheim began to articulate in his work was that society, as he had known it, was in crisis (Marske, 1987). …
Your desire to play gatekeeper to the rights of others is ignorant and informed by patriarchal systems that you claim to disavow
I don’t see red often, but my god.
When someone comes along who is well versed on the conditions of their own oppression yet eager to submit others to those very same conditions, I lose my freakin’ mind. These individuals infiltrate activist spaces often, seeking only to advocate for themselves. They go by many names; calling themselves “Log Cabin Republicans” or “Hoteps” or “TERFs”.
You’ve met them. They are gay, but also cis and conservative. They are fluent in black racial politics, and perpetuating misogynoir. …
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